Friday, April 15, 2011
I wish I was more open
and did swim team. The star a year older asked me every year, but I said I did cross country.
I'm not upset about my friend's parents.
But, for some reason, my friends don't answer me and don't talk much. I see them together in real life.
I'm more European than a lot of people.
I don't understand. I have Native American indian. I'm nothing like my dad nor mom.
I'm supposed to grow up to be long, tall, and thin.
My friends aren't, but they can't stop me, though it looks like they already did. I was doing so good growing. I guess I need more food.
So Uptight and Bringing up Bad Memories
That's what my family was to me. I don't want to visit them. I go to Disney with my mom. I can take home some pictures. I spent the last of my money forgetting about Disney souvenirs.
My dad's mom's side
which includes him, thinking of the indian relatives are animals. They are so mean to me. Everyone said how perfect I was. My grandma is trying to make me submissive to her because she can tell about the word nigger thing, but I think there's nothing wrong with it if it's used the right way. My grandma doesn't use hints the right way. We just wanna have some fun.
My Ethnicity
I am wondering if I have more English. My grandma didn't really know so lied to us, said she didn't know. I think her brother must have gotten some information. I'm wondering if one side is really Scottish and English but not Dutch. My mom grew up in Dutch culture, so I have that accent.
It's too hard to think with my parents around sometimes.
My dad doesn't actually realize it isn't nice. He won't stop like molesting me. He always fiddles with his thumb around me trying to make me think of something, like so tacky rubs it back and forth and makes a scraping sound somehow. My parents need to stop. I do something, they get back rather than realize something is not my fault. So many people seem to think I'm not a guilty person. Nothing will be happening and my parents want to fill in time with mean secret messages. I should stay away.
I can do whatever I want.
My parents have a bad habit or my dad does that if something looks wrong they don't want to help but to punish. That's gay.
I was e-mailing these friends and one of them's family e-mail, but they were so rude they didn't respond neither at first that time nor later. Call that stuck up or just messed up? One of the girls went to Facebook and MySpace and "removed me as a friend." She thinks she's so English and cool, but she's so not. She's in the other category.
I was e-mailing these friends and one of them's family e-mail, but they were so rude they didn't respond neither at first that time nor later. Call that stuck up or just messed up? One of the girls went to Facebook and MySpace and "removed me as a friend." She thinks she's so English and cool, but she's so not. She's in the other category.
Guilty?
If you think the word nigger is guilty to use, then I guess I'm guilty, but I was just playing around you know. So, it wasn't really. I wouldn't mind if someone did that to me. Plus, the people seemed to want it. There is nothing wrong with any word unless a word is meant to be that way. I didn't come up to someone and call them that you know. I was treated like a nigger, so I was like fighting for survival and it was only RP. You'll be surprised how nice I am to the unfortunate. I would never use that word on someone like that. When I was hitting my wall, my parents came in at night and were mad, so I said, "Get out of my room, you nigger," to my dad. My parents think it's cute when I get in trouble and it wastes my life for them thinking of how to punish me. I had been treated differently first for hitting the wall. Like, they need a certain amount of time. I'm not 23, anymore. I thought the rule was if you wouldn't mind if someone did that to you. I'm serious they wanted it, as far as that goes. If I used it on my kids there would be a reason. I wouldn't molest them with that word nor with not having it. Fact, everyone uses any word they want. I am not the one who has used it too much, but most people don't need to use it on a baby. Better get it over with. I'm serious that's what happened. There's nothing wrong. I didn't go up to anyone nor someone unfortunate. The terms and conditions were met. People need to stop crapping up that the English language curse words are bad. I have this video of a ball thing with tennis on my YouTube and they each use curse words in real life. I just use it in my blog and if I feel something's important on a message board that allows it. In real life, I don't even like to say the word stupid anymore.
I don't like it when people from tehe U.K. are rude.
I feel selfish to indulge in being European because I foil myself with other cultures. I'm trying to change this part of me to not care. I already don't care, and there could be more reasons. Pretty much a white person doesn't get in trouble for being white, so why can't I? People are so rude to me. It is my love of the material feel of the culture. I try to be both. One thing I decided was to want black hair and white skin because that's right in the middle. Of course I can get a tan. I'm not that fat. I don't know of skinny white people. Their skin is usually pale, but not like flushed.
When people find they don't have anything in common
they realize what they know is from other people, too.
My cousin treats me like an animal.
Her mom also does things, like tries to get across a message even if it wasn't right, used to do this when I was younger, just make up things I did for fun.
No, I didn't masturbate when
I was matured. I felt like it, in Slidell, but I think I did it very little to like never. I think it was like once every few years, but you get the picture. Sometimes I just do it in my sleep, but don't worry not often. I didn't like it at first.
So, I had actually sent my grandma some notes in the mail..
..and she was wanting me to call when I said I didn't know if I would. I just am not comfortable. I'm not supposed to have to talk to anyone just for no reason. There is a reason to talk to her. I just don't have much happening, and she's not a romantic person as far as conversation goes. So, I listen to what she did, which is fun. But, we don't talk about philosophical things.
I'm not a submissive person myself.
I just don't want to be responsible to talk to people. Sometimes all people do is get mad.
I hate when people are connected to their childhood.
They act like a grown-up, but they really are a baby.
Like, I noticed Celine Dion singing sounds like the baby in the family. I noticed flower kids copy accents created by older people. Flower kids meaning flower children, the flowery time, the 60s and 70s.
Like, I noticed Celine Dion singing sounds like the baby in the family. I noticed flower kids copy accents created by older people. Flower kids meaning flower children, the flowery time, the 60s and 70s.
Yea I was thinking friends.
I don't mean anyone in particular because I can't. I'd get in trouble. I'm upset because it's getting annoying.
My Extended Family Is Threatening
They treat me like I'm stupid. You may think I don't actually have beef with the bulk of my family, but we'll just say the closer the hotter.
Hard of Hearing
My left ear rings all the time and feels a little plugged. My right one feels cushioned. I made myself go to my cousin's wedding and paid a lot of money for it. I have to wait a month for a little money. This lady whistled loudly in my ear. Her mom was there because she was a neighbor. I don't know why the hairdresser attends the wedding of a 19-year-old. I went to MGM, and this lady kept talking loudly on the right for the Indiana Jones show, which has some stunts and had some loud music. I should have covered my ear.
For once I didn't even exercise today.
I was tired and was gonna go to the gym with my dad. I did stay up late.
I like my extended family but I want to say something.
They treat me like a baby, any member. They think they can make me more disciplined, but that's my stereotype and not theirs. I grew up mostly told by sane people I was very perfect. I can't believe some of the things people want to do with me. I'm supposed to call my Grandma again in a day or so. Our connection was cut when I said I was wondering when to call. I don't like that my family thinks it's funny to call at 4 when I have the rest of my day to enjoy. Like I said on IMDb, people just don't know what I need. They just see everyone else working and forget I was recommended to take time off from school at 16 and 20.
Kinda thankful.
Fuck the piano. I had a baby one and said I wanted to be a singer when we had to pick something when I was 7. Michael Jackson actually inspired me singing "Free Willy." Before that my first grade class studied whales, so it came out then. We were on TV for it, but it's in Katrina.
How would I get into theater or musical theater without flexibility? I couldn't be just a dancer. Britney Spears didn't do ballet. I did gymnastics from 1-9.
How would I get into theater or musical theater without flexibility? I couldn't be just a dancer. Britney Spears didn't do ballet. I did gymnastics from 1-9.
I hate being indian.
People really are racist. How can I separate living from being a crazy animal? Like, things like brown hair, how do I know if that's really physical as a European? I guess the Chinese-Indonesian isn't irritating.
Songs Like "Dreams"
http://www.amazon.com/Dreams/dp/B000WOXPZ6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1302760126&sr=1-2-spell
To me it sounds much less than the culture I grew up with at the time was. You might think it's pretty remodeled, but to me it's the opposite statement. :|
To me it sounds much less than the culture I grew up with at the time was. You might think it's pretty remodeled, but to me it's the opposite statement. :|
That was funny.
We only saw Annie once, but they had casts with 2 different main characters. I don't know why or if I'm stupid, but we didn't see the one someone I knew was in. I think the other girl was from somewhere else. They seem to have a lot of the arts in other areas of the area.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
They used to say about theater
that you either come to terms with it or not. But, people have fallen for the idea that everyone would have. But, they haven't.
Wars Fought Over Race
can't really be a good thing because people die. The Jewish seem very European. Blame white people for acting like they're not. Don't blame the Chinese or some shit.
Another Thing That Upset Me
My piano teacher from when we lived in the nation's oldest city in northeast Florida said I should get into organ and never stop playing piano. My mom called a lady I met later, but she never answered back. So, for that amount of time waiting to meet her, I took that long to decide to not make it my life. I'm very regretful because I wanted to be a singer since I was 7. Instead, I also did piano and organ.
I liked the girl I was talking about, though.
I just feel like she saw me and followed me and made the auditions seem harder.
Someone from our junior hi died of drugs.
He went to the Catholic school in town. I remember now I didn't know where I was going. So, I guess that's another supporting reason I didn't actually get on dance team. People transferred from the Catholic school. My mom did ask if I wanted to go to an all girls school maybe New Orleans too.
My two best friends from before hung out and went to college together with another friend I was friends with. They lived in Florida in the nation's oldest continuing city by Jacksonville. They went to FSU. I wish I applied to LSU, but don't get me wrong it was worth it to go to Loyola. People went to UNO and I applied there. My mom and I didn't have me apply to LSU.
My two best friends from before hung out and went to college together with another friend I was friends with. They lived in Florida in the nation's oldest continuing city by Jacksonville. They went to FSU. I wish I applied to LSU, but don't get me wrong it was worth it to go to Loyola. People went to UNO and I applied there. My mom and I didn't have me apply to LSU.
I know she went to New Orleans Center for Creative Arts | Riverfront.
I got in most trouble it seemed for not chosing between ballet and gymnastics. I did art at home for fun and had fun dabbling in music and being in choir my whole life.
I found I was happiest at a high school near our house. I left as a junior to get harder academics since all the gifted classes were ending. Don't get me wrong, I almost died twice and was made fun of selling candy (in which one person found ants) for Christian Club. Someone almost hit my temple but was too tall, and there were fireworks as I walked away or nearby.
I found I was happiest at a high school near our house. I left as a junior to get harder academics since all the gifted classes were ending. Don't get me wrong, I almost died twice and was made fun of selling candy (in which one person found ants) for Christian Club. Someone almost hit my temple but was too tall, and there were fireworks as I walked away or nearby.
The Group
I saw them do Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. The girl I was talking about in my last post was one of the 4 narrators, who sing and move, do a synchronized movement pattern I remember, like tilting their head from side to side. So after that, I went to be with them. I stopped because I was tired. I almost got in a church musical here. They changed the schedule and I wanted to go to ballet. I don't do that now anymore.
"The Wizard of Oz"
There was a tall girl a year younger when I went to another parish's youth group rather far away, not sure if it was Catholic. This girl seemed shorter and slimmed even more and got the part for Dorothy. I was wondering if she was following me because it was such a coincidence. I quit that group. There was this girl with white blonde bleached highlighted hair who I got with who put her arm in mine just like Dorothy. She was slightly older, same grade I think, just a little older compared to me I think. She also got a part for Meet Me in Saint Louis the year after. There are 2 musicals a year + YATs. Judy Garland also played the same character in Meet Me in Saint Louis. Of course, Judy Garland was Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz. Anyway, I remember it was the same name and grade of the person who got the roles. They had a good director for The Wizard of Oz. They should get more room, like cut out the trees and create a 2nd theater and have musicals all year.
"Iris"
http://www.amazon.com/Iris/dp/B00122IZXO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1302760818&sr=1-1
It sounds like he's trying to copy the accents of those famous girls from 1997|8. I always thought I was meant to be like those people.
It sounds like he's trying to copy the accents of those famous girls from 1997|8. I always thought I was meant to be like those people.
You can tell "Sweet Dreams"
is a different kind of musical capability.
http://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Dreams-Are-Made-This/dp/B001O3Y9YU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1302760400&sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/Sweet-Dreams-Are-Made-This/dp/B001O3Y9YU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1302760400&sr=1-1
How can you fake this?
http://www.amazon.com/Dreams/dp/B000WOXPZ6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1302760126&sr=1-2-spell
You can't fake being able to sing this.
You can't fake being able to sing this.
November
I don't want my period. I haven't had it since Thanksgiving. My doctor, who is Chinese-Indonesian, tried to get my mom to take me birth control pills because I might get raped. Not sure why except I know I have a purple flap in my vagina, the two flaps that stick out in the cheeks. I don't know if I have mine shaped more like an African. My vagina got pretty numb. I used to feel a lot of pressure. Anyway, the birth control pills I mentioned because it's supposed to regulate the period and keep from getting pregnant, not sure how.
We can sa il we can sa il.
SAIL AWAY SAIL AWAY SAIL AWAY
What I noticed was the background. Now, it's one big clump of sound.
What I noticed was the background. Now, it's one big clump of sound.
I have this teacher
from Loyola in voice: http://www.artistshousemusic.org/videos/an+interview+with+ellen+frohnmayer+assistant+professor+of+voice+at+loyola+university+new+orleans
Her doing a voice lesson with someone I saw working at the bookstore: http://www.artistshousemusic.org/videos/vocal+lesson+by+ellen+frohnmayer+pt2
Her doing a voice lesson with someone I saw working at the bookstore: http://www.artistshousemusic.org/videos/vocal+lesson+by+ellen+frohnmayer+pt2
Okay, Enya.
I just got "The Memory of Trees" and "Orinoco Flow" ("Sail Away.")
"The Memory of Trees" makes me think of death. I used to listen to these CDs growing up, like when I was 9+. Everyone in Florida knows "Orinoco Flow."
"The Memory of Trees" makes me think of death. I used to listen to these CDs growing up, like when I was 9+. Everyone in Florida knows "Orinoco Flow."
Supposedly..
Miami has a lot of blacks and Latinos. The Latino is the one that is overly recognized.
"Uninvited"
This song ceased to exist. It's just a point of great discomfort for people who aren't into being famous and stuff so much.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
"Paper Planes"
This girl is from the bottom of India and is like 10 or so years older.
http://www.amazon.com/Paper-Planes/dp/B000VAHEO4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1302753455&sr=1-1
This was inserted in "Slumdog Millionaire" but fairly recent.
http://www.amazon.com/Paper-Planes/dp/B000VAHEO4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1302753455&sr=1-1
This was inserted in "Slumdog Millionaire" but fairly recent.
Not Much German Culture
other than my aunt's husband and family until I moved to Louisiana my later years there.
Have to buy Orla's stuff.
I don't think the "My Land" was on TV, so it would be illegal on YouTube. I even got a separate channel for singing in case they delete my whole account because I don't want to lose all the footage of me talking. I don't save the videos but can download my favorites after awhile.
Just woke up and
called my grandma, who wasn't there, and ate supper with my mom. I'm going to jog now. Seeya!
I just found out Enya is Irish.
I said I read she was English. Not the first time this kind of thing has happened to me.
Now, I'm listening to "Iris."
I make it sound more like the other one when I sing it.
http://www.amazon.com/Iris/dp/B00122IZXO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1302693438&sr=1-1
http://www.amazon.com/Iris/dp/B00122IZXO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1302693438&sr=1-1
So I'm listening
to music from 1997|8 and don't quite see how Louisiana is in the know-how. I grew up with this music before living there. I got the big ones, like "Uninvited." I wonder if anyone in Louisiana can tell what's even going on. Sadly, I think only I can do this.
It's too sad to watch Orla Fallon.
It's so nostalgic her days with the group called Celtic Woman. She's not the only one who left. Why doesn't she do Irish pop?
The Songs
This is not very familiar to me. I'm not watching it online more, neither. I do like oldies, but it's just my money keeps running away. I'm supposed to get more from modeling, but I haven't.
I found a link to Orla's stuff.
I should buy it, but I'm too lazy. I do have money. I could buy it anyway. I will if I wanna see it much more. Anyway, at least you get to see a good amount. http://www.youtube.com/user/zpfxlrdnajs#p/c/269AF51595B1F1EA/6/76Ei1pd4ogk
I don't know if this was on TV, but I don't think so. YouTube doesn't like things downloaded from TV. I was looking for the Christmas special I missed. I forget. I don't have my own TV, and I'm sick.
I am wondering who did this YouTube channel, like if it was Orla. I really wanna buy it. I was wondering if they were still on sale.
I don't know if this was on TV, but I don't think so. YouTube doesn't like things downloaded from TV. I was looking for the Christmas special I missed. I forget. I don't have my own TV, and I'm sick.
I am wondering who did this YouTube channel, like if it was Orla. I really wanna buy it. I was wondering if they were still on sale.
You can't plan on anyone
being perfect for their hair color. You have to depend on someone and something.
Nostalgic About Spanish Influences
I got the song "La Bamba" and now that I'm older and have it to myself as a single, I think of taking Spanish class in my 2nd year of high school. I actually had Spanish in 3rd and 6th grade, so I had 4 years at 3 different schools. I know more about the culture. I signed up for French and was gonna be Secretary. I should have thought to stay in the French club.
Possessive People
When did people start getting that way, you ask? When Johnny Depp finally became famous. They are acting like they are better than people who worked hard to attain a goal or strike a certain level of skill in acting for family movies.
Blackheads
I wonder why I still was able to lead my life to an extent. They are not really blackheads. It's dried grease. Now, I'm confusing mole marks for grease. I guess it's something you take care of every now and then, and when you get in high school and area allowed to wear makeup that's how you can cover. That's what I do now.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
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